I have a fabric purchasing problem (also, Simplicity 2147 and Simplicity 2406)

Serious problem. It’s serious. I lurk on fabric.com and then play a game called “How do I get to exactly $35 so I can get free shipping?” It’s like tetris! So, this is my life now:

But look at these prints! I couldn’t … not … buy … help me.

Did I mention I live two miles from a shopping complex that has a Jo Ann’s and G Street Fabrics right around the corner from each other? I’m maybe aware that G Street’s remnants come in at around 10 am on Friday mornings, and I’ve maybe seen women attack said remnants (and each other) like they were the last donuts on earth. I was maybe one of those women. No, I really wasn’t, I was scared.

Anyway, I’m trying to sew more and buy less fabric. No more. NO MORE! And I’ve learned my n00b lesson about buying quilting fabric (answer: don’t, no matter how cheap it is).

I’ve been working on a couple of different versions of Simplicity 2147, a Learn To Sew pattern that could be really cool if only the directions were not so dumb and/or I could not fuck up cutting fabric for once.

Girl 1: I’m going to sell my body later!

My first attempt was actually decent, and I was surprised that the size 4 I cut FIT THE TOP OF ME HOLY GOD. It runs small.

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However, there’s too much fabric in the bottom half of this. It tells you to put darts in the front and the back. Giant darts. It didn’t look terrible but I’m still going to redo the bottom half of this particular piece.

So I tried again, and I came up with this monstrosity. Not only does it look like a sofa, I cut so much fabric out of the pattern that the shirt doesn’t fit over my hips. I keep forgetting I have sorta normal hip measurements. But at least I figured out that I just need to gather the material instead of using their stupid pleats.

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Look at it, sleeping on my bed, waiting for me to die so it can inhale my soul and become uglier for it. In my defense, that fabric looked way less old-lady when I bought it from fabric.com.

Here’s a pattern I severely altered, sewed and finished that isn’t terrible, but isn’t great. The bias tape used at the neckline is all kinds of ridiculous, because no facing and quilting cotton. But other than that, it’s OK. I can’t say I’d really wear it anywhere important, but I probably will not throw it out immediately.

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This weekend, I made significant progress on a muslin I’m making for Simplicity 2406. I’m using a cotton that really isn’t my style (another fabric.com mishap), but it may turn out wearable.

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My first facing! I knew there had to be a good reason people did this.

This pattern has awesome reviews, and it’s adorable. I’m hoping for the best.

Oh, here, my coworker Amy models the owl apron I made for Claire.

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And one last note: I saw this in Vogue or something while I was getting a pedicure. How … why … no. No. NO.

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